I dreamt we were at a banquet, the banquet hall was dimly lit, but small, subtle golden lights were located throughout the hall. I was at a round table; he was next to me. Across from us were two men, older in age. One had glasses, one didn’t; both had on suits. In the dream they appeared to be venerable, prestigious men in the community. However, my date wasn’t acting couth. His manners and demeanor was affecting the vibe at the table and I could tell the older gentlemen were both disappointed in me for being with him.
I woke up realizing that moment, that the guy I was talking to was not the one for me.
My dad told me one thing before that he heard from a friend that stuck with me. He said: Don’t get with someone for where they are at, get with someone because of where they are going. Because if you get with someone for where they are at and you get to where you are going you may not like the person that is standing next to you.
That dreamed showed me where I was going and it showed me he wouldn’t fit in the environment.
Please! Don’t think I am trying to come across as if I am better than him or holier than him. What I realized from that dream, from using the physical to understand the spiritual is, at the core our focus in life was different. What was important to him wasn’t important to me. I saw how we were spiritually unyoked.
God gives us warning signs all the time that indicate the need for us to stop engaging with certain souls. He may do it through a dream or through other people.
I read somewhere that said: Stop asking God for spiritual signs to stop doing something you know is wrong.
Sometimes we are fully aware of the warning signs but we aren’t obedient.
God gives us a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13); when we ask for it and even when we don’t. He also gives us free will to decide if we will take that way out. When you “harden your heart” it becomes easier and easier to entertain temptations and give into them.
Below I’ve written up my top 7 warnings signs I usually receive or have seen others receive, when God is telling me/them to cut the tie:
- Car Problems- I believe cars are symbolic for your life. Cars are vessels to get us to a destination. Our bodies and our brains are also vessels that were designed to get us somewhere in life, so when your car starts malfunctioning or things keep occurring to your car, to me that is a clear indication that I may be engaging with someone who can ruin my destination in life.
- Plans never work out or are a struggle to work out- This use to happen to me a lot in High School, I realize it quickly now that I’m older and don’t stress out as much. If you want to meet up with someone, hang out or you are actually are with them and it is a struggle/consistent battle. Whether that is a battle with external uncontrollable factors like: car issues, last minute emergencies or changed of plans. Or interpersonal battles like: miscommunications, arguments, drama, etc. This all can be indications that time shouldn’t be invested with that person.
- Loose ties- When you have too many parties involved, it always ends badly. I use to envy those girls with multiple men on the lines and in their inbox, but it only took a couple times of me trying to “play the field” to learn that it isn’t for me. It’s too messy, too many people get hurt, confused and angry. Just don’t do it.
- Health-Do you get headaches around this person, do you always seem irritated, worried, butterflies that make you feel like you might pass out? Do actually get physically sick? The body communicates to us when there are bad foreign agents near us, around us, and even in us; being self-aware helps you be mindful of changes occurring in your body when someone new is in your life. Be careful who you allow in your temple.
- Finances- Wheeew this is a BIG one. I know someone is bad for me if my money starts messing up. If I accumulate crazy debt, if I lose my job or have problems at my job, if I get invested into material things, etc. I remember one ex I had would encourage me to save. I loved it, looking back. It was very attractive to see how he would help me get my emotions in check and not spend because I felt like it, was sad, insecure, etc. He would always tell me wants versus needs and I thrived financially because of that. When I see a man emotionally spending, it’s an immediate turn off. I want a man that can lead my household with logic not emotions and insecurities.
- Dreams- Dreams can reveal things about people. I’ve had so many dreams about key men in my life. As I replay some of those dreams now I realize how accurate they were. Always interrupt dreams symbolically. Dreams are never as literal as they appear.
- Behavior/Spirituality- Are you cussing more? Stealing? Treating people badly? Gossiping more? Being negative? Not praying? Not fasting? When bad behavior is adopted it usually can be tied to who is getting the majority of your time? How are you treating your family members, your friends? When someone is bad for you they usually have you feeling like the wrong thing is good. What are you doing that you use to refuse to do before?
How can you tell you have a good person by your side? You feel full inside, time seems to fly by because you feel safe, content, joyful. The love that you both exchange is so fulfilling that you want to spread it out into the world and you do. You give to others and you even give to yourself freely. You try to be better person out in the world, because the person loved you when you were so imperfect and you feel as if you have a new beginning a second chance. You feel gratitude. You feel peace. You laugh, you save money because you don’t need much to feel fulfilled. You are energized. You learn new things, spiritual things, things that fill you up even more internally. You just vibrate higher. It’s so recognizable.
Get with someone for where they are going not just materialistically or even physically, because both fade, but get with someone who has those spiritual foundations in place and if the other components come with the package then that’s a bonus. Get with people for where they are going not for where they are at.